This is the biggest lifestyle change a longevity expert has made to his life to increase his chances of living longer

You’ll already know that developing good relationships with friends, family, romantic partners, and even colleagues and neighbours contributes to day-to-day happiness and satisfaction, but did you know it could also help you live longer?

It’s something which Dr Matt Kaeberlein swears by.

Kaeberlein has spent 25 years researching longevity and the lifestyle factors that affect our healthspan—which refers to how long you are able to live in good health—and he is the founder of healthtech company Optispan, which focuses on helping people extend their lifespans.

“The data is clear,” says Kaeberlein. “They just keep coming out with stronger and stronger evidence that people who have strong social relationships, and strong social ties, are likely to live longer and avoid age-related diseases compared with people who are socially isolated.”

The research is so strong that psychosocial isolation might be added to the Hallmarks Of Aging report—which began in 2013 and is regularly updated to reflect the research on the things that impact the way we age.

“For the first time, a non-cellular or molecular process was proposed as a hallmark of aging—and it is psychosocial isolation—because this is becoming such a pronounced signal in the scientific data,” says Kaeberlein.

Kaeberlein also pinpointed an especially at-risk group. “Particularly in middle-aged men, social isolation is a huge, huge problem,” he says.

But the good news is that developing new relationships can make a difference.

“One important thing that the science of longevity has established is that, with few exceptions, it’s never too late, meaning everybody can have an impact on their healthspan trajectory going forward,” says Kaeberlein.

How to improve your personal relationships

There’s no one way to work on your social interactions to help you live longer. In fact, it’s important that you’re developing meaningful, genuine relationships, so following a rulebook to do so can feel forced.

This is something Kaeberlein has struggled with. “If you asked me what one thing has been hardest for me to work on in my lifestyle, it’s the relationship piece,” he says.

“I’ve spent a lot of time and energy [working on] that. And I’m grateful that I have because my relationships are stronger and deeper than they were three years ago.”

Here are some of Kaeberlein's suggestions on how to develop your relationships.

Prioritise quality time

“Making an active effort to spend quality time with people is obvious, but it’s hard,” says Kaeberlein. He explains that this becomes a particular issue when people enter retirement, and lose friends and family.

According to Kaeberlein, you’ll benefit hugely from going out of your way to maintain your current relationships and develop new ones.

“You have to make a concerted effort to build new relationships and nurture those relationships,” he says.

Make time for micro-interactions

It might not feel that significant to have a small conversation with your barista or a grocery store worker, but according to Kaeberlein it’s definitely helpful.

“There is evidence suggesting that these micro-interactions can have positive benefits. You get these brief dopamine hits and you get stress reduction from interacting with people,” he says.

“In the world today, you can, if you live in a major city, pretty much exist without ever talking to a human being if you really want to—don’t do that!

“Make an active effort to have interactions with people, even if they are those small interactions, because there is evidence that those can have health benefits.”

Don’t rely on your spouse

A meaningful romantic partnership can be an important part of life for a lot of people, but Kaeberlein says it’s important to develop relationships outside of that too.

“With men, what [tends to] happen is they focus on one relationship in their life, and that’s usually their spouse, and they don’t have any friends or close relationships outside of that,” says Kaeberlein.

Think about how you can expand your network of relationships, whether that’s friendships, colleagues or other family members.

Find a furry friend

We’re not saying getting a puppy will ensure you live to 100, but according to Kaeberlein, a pet can be good for your health.

“I wouldn’t want to suggest that companion animals are a substitute for human relationships,” he says. “But there’s interesting data that shows relationships with companion animals can also have positive health benefits on both the animal and the human.

“Physically interacting with a dog or a cat reduces stress, and reduces blood pressure—so I think it is useful to say relationships go beyond just human relationships,” he adds.

Take that as your excuse to pet a cute dog next time you spot one!