I’ve been meditating for over 10 years—if I were starting again, this is what I’d do differently

I’ve been meditating for over 10 years, and teaching it to others for almost half that time. Often, when I work with someone at the start of their meditation journey, I see the same misconceptions I had right at the beginning of my practice. It’s made me reflect and realise there are some things I’d do very differently if I were starting over again.

When I first tried to meditate, I quickly fell into the “I can’t do it” trap after struggling to sit in silence and stillness for even just a few minutes. What I’ve learned since is there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Often, when it doesn’t feel like it’s working, it’s because of the expectations we’ve set around it.

If meditation is something you’ve tried but couldn’t get on with, or you’re simply curious to try it—whether you need help switching off or want to feel more connected to yourself—here are a few tips to get started.

I’d build it into my daily life

With so many perfect morning routines on social media, when I first considered meditating each morning, I thought I needed an aesthetically pleasing and quiet corner at home to do it. Truth is, that’s hard to come by when you live in a small shared apartment in London!

But what I realised is you don’t need to light a candle, burn incense or sit on a yoga mat to meditate. I actually wouldn’t recommend starting there at all.

Meditation is a practice of training your awareness and attention by focusing on a single point. This could be your breath, a sensation in your body, your senses, an image in your mind or an external object.

With this in mind, you can build a meditation practice into your everyday life. This could look like tuning into your senses on your morning walk—noticing what you can hear, see, feel, taste and smell around you. Or, maybe you can take an intentional pause with five gentle, deep breaths as you wait for the kettle to boil.

These small moments add up—no fancy routine or equipment required.

I’d try different techniques

When I first started meditating, I made the mistake of thinking there was only one way to do it—sitting in silence and focusing on my breath for 20 minutes. While that is valid, it’s not the only way to do it.

I recommend experimenting more and enjoy discovering new techniques. A body scan meditation, where you tune into different parts of the body, is a great way to wind down at night. Box breathing practices that involve counting the breath can be a great way to focus on something tangible and can help you find calm in stressful moments.

If something isn’t working for you, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re bad at it. Different practices suit different days and needs, so keep experimenting and you’ll discover what works for you and when it works for you.

I’d start small with short practices

If you’re already time-poor, the idea of starting a long daily meditation practice can feel overwhelming. It’s no surprise I struggled with 20 minutes of silent practice—often I’d run out of time in the morning, give up and feel like a failure.

The truth is, you only need a few minutes to feel the benefits, especially when you’re starting out.

Most meditation practices use an anchor to help focus your attention—such as your breath, a body sensation or a visualization. If you’re not familiar with focusing this way, it can feel challenging.

Start with one or two minutes focusing on your anchor, returning your attention to it any time your mind drifts off. As you become more comfortable, you can build from there.

I would expect my mind to wander

One of the biggest misconceptions about meditation is that the goal is to empty the mind. Emptying the mind of thoughts is an impossible task and distraction is a normal part of the process.

In the early days, I thought I had failed every time my mind wandered. But eventually, I learnt to notice when my mind had lost its focus and gently encouraged it back to my anchor. That is the practice.

Mindfulness is all about awareness. Experiencing distractions and learning how to manage them is all part of the journey.

I would get clear on why I’m meditating

Often people turn to meditation to help them relax, sleep better or stress less. I certainly did, and would get frustrated when my practice didn’t make me feel happier or calmer.

But, meditation isn’t a quick fix. It’s a practice that needs to be done consistently to see results—just like going to the gym.

If I was starting again, I’d lower my expectations. Meditation won’t always make you feel calm or happy, but it will help you to expand your awareness, train your attention and—in the long term—support you in being more mindful in day-to-day life.